Rules #2

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Despite there being a ‘no animals in the bedroom’ rule I sleep with the bedroom door open, so that should Lucy need a ‘comfort break’ during the night I can hear her, and act before it is too late!

She never trespasses, but the cats have no such qualms.

Although they are models of good behaviour during the day the night is a different matter – I suppose they think that as I am asleep I’ll never know!

To prevent the nightly feline invasion I have a wicker screen which I pull across the doorway, allowing me to keep the door open without allowing ingress to the cats.

This has worked very well, until Sayyida al Hurra, Queen of the Mediterranean, whose mental powers are on a level with Stephen Hawking, had Stephen Hawking been a cat, worked out how to move the screen.

Several times she has appeared in the bedroom, and I have politely requested her to leave. She does this unhurriedly, with dignity, and the comment that she was just going, anyway. Yesterday she remained calm and serene outside the screen.

I slept uninterrupted, and when I awoke I stumbled to the loo, as is my wont. As I sat there I became aware that I was being watched – and there, on the corner of the bath, sat Si, regarding me calmly with regal citrus lemon eyes and a faint air of reproach.

For all I know she could have been there all night!